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Learning to be comfortable with the label “Mad” has been a long journey for me, and I own it now with a sense of irony.
It is several decades since I found myself unable to function due to mental health distress, and back then the word, like the experience, was terrifying for me. "Taking it back” has been empowering and liberating.
Today the meaning of "Mad" for me, in the contexts of my life and work, is threefold, as above, and below:
The way I think, process, respond, and sometimes behave, can be divergent from the norm. Decades into recovery, fully functional and living a rich and fulfilling life, I still struggle daily with anxiety and have intrusive thoughts that I have learned to live with, but that will probably never go away. There exists within my psyche a community of sub-personalities (some of which once manifested as tormenting voices) that can become unruly if I don’t consciously and consistently manage them. If an onlooker could see inside my head, the terrain might well look like madness. To me it is now a home in which I can mostly live with a sense of acceptance, and sometimes even peace, and where I generally find less dysfunction than in the world beyond.
I am angry – about many things, including the way I was treated by certain people in positions of power when I most needed compassionate help, and the way I see people in distress still being treated today.
I feel compelled to Make A Difference, because of 1 and 2, and because of all that's broken within the mental health system and wider world. This sometimes feels like a kind of madness in itself, and I have to temper it. But MakingADifference-ness fulfills me, it impacts others, and it gives meaning to my experiences, past and present.
Would you like to know more about my story and lived experience?
I am happy to talk about the understanding, insights and unique expertise that have evolved over a lifetime of mental health divergence, exploration and recovery. These have been enriched, informed and grounded by professional training and co-production work, and the services I offer draw upon many elements of the resulting combination.
Please watch the short illustrated poems and videos below (and more here),
read these blog posts:
Psychological Crisis: Dismantling the Walls
The Eternal Gift of Not Choosing Suicide
have a look at the services page
and contact me if you'd like to talk!
It is several decades since I found myself unable to function due to mental health distress, and back then the word, like the experience, was terrifying for me. "Taking it back” has been empowering and liberating.
Today the meaning of "Mad" for me, in the contexts of my life and work, is threefold, as above, and below:
The way I think, process, respond, and sometimes behave, can be divergent from the norm. Decades into recovery, fully functional and living a rich and fulfilling life, I still struggle daily with anxiety and have intrusive thoughts that I have learned to live with, but that will probably never go away. There exists within my psyche a community of sub-personalities (some of which once manifested as tormenting voices) that can become unruly if I don’t consciously and consistently manage them. If an onlooker could see inside my head, the terrain might well look like madness. To me it is now a home in which I can mostly live with a sense of acceptance, and sometimes even peace, and where I generally find less dysfunction than in the world beyond.
I am angry – about many things, including the way I was treated by certain people in positions of power when I most needed compassionate help, and the way I see people in distress still being treated today.
I feel compelled to Make A Difference, because of 1 and 2, and because of all that's broken within the mental health system and wider world. This sometimes feels like a kind of madness in itself, and I have to temper it. But MakingADifference-ness fulfills me, it impacts others, and it gives meaning to my experiences, past and present.
Would you like to know more about my story and lived experience?
I am happy to talk about the understanding, insights and unique expertise that have evolved over a lifetime of mental health divergence, exploration and recovery. These have been enriched, informed and grounded by professional training and co-production work, and the services I offer draw upon many elements of the resulting combination.
Please watch the short illustrated poems and videos below (and more here),
read these blog posts:
Psychological Crisis: Dismantling the Walls
The Eternal Gift of Not Choosing Suicide
have a look at the services page
and contact me if you'd like to talk!
